Well This is Weird
by EverPlotting
Summary: After returning home from a mission, Sakura convinces Sasuke to hang out and grab some lunch. When Ino finds them and decides to use them as guinea pigs for her new technique, ridiculousness and chaos ensue. NaruSasu.


**Hey people. Let me start out by saying this ****_is_**** NaruSasu, but only a little. It is - surprisingly - not a romance story. I know. Shocking. Mostly its just meant to be funny and ridiculous. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any affiliated characters, settings, etc. This story and all elements of the plot are property of EverPlotting**

**Edit: There seems to be some confusion about how old our favorite ninjas are. I don't really have specific ages, but somewhere between eighteen and twenty-one how they're supposed to be depicted. Sorry if that caused any confusion.  
**

* * *

~ Well This Is Weird ~

Sakura sighed as the gates of Kohona came into sight. "Home sweet home. It's good to be back."

Beside her, to her left actually, Sasuke grunted in affirmation.

"Once we finish the report to the Hokage, you and I should do something to celebrate a successful mission."

"Sakura," Sasuke said warningly.

"Not like that you idiot," Sakura rolled her eyes and smacked Sasuke lightly over the head (he dodged the blow with a slight twitch of his neck to the left). "I was just thinking about how we used to go out for ramen after missions when we were kids."

"Look Sakura," Sasuke said, looking directly into Sakura's eyes, something he rarely did nowadays, "we're not kids anymore. I don't want to go anywhere with you." Sakura looked away, but Sasuke didn't miss the hurt look in her eyes. He sighed. "Look I didn't mean it like that," Sasuke said running one of his hands through his hair. "Your a good friend Sakura, one of my only friends since I returned, but I don't like to spend a lot of time in town; people stare. Besides, I have to check in with my keeper when I get back." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

Sakura brightened slightly. Partially because Sasuke had admitted that he valued their friendship and partially because he had practically made a joke.

"At least it's Naruto that got to be 'your keeper,' as you so condescendingly put it."

Sasuke nodded. "Oh, and Sakura?"

"Yeah?" she said somewhat absentmindedly; they were only a meter or two from the gate.

"If you tell anyone about this conversation, I'll erase it from your memory, got it?"

"Whatever Sasuke," Sakura said shaking her head as the great stone gates of Kohona swung slowly open and the two ANBU sauntered through.

Sasuke and Sakura bowed to the Hokage and then exited the office. Sasuke turned to Sakura.

"I've been thinking about your offer. Naruto can wait an hour or two while we have lunch."

"Really?" Sakura said.

"This doesn't mean I love your or anything," Sasuke said warily.

"I know," Sakura said rolling her eyes. "Like you said; we're not kids anymore."

"Just clarifying."

* * *

Sakura wasn't a huge fan of silence, but Sasuke didn't really seem to be as talkative at the ramen stand as he was outside Kohona; even on the mission he spoke more. Sakura had never really thought about whether or not the villagers would accept Sasuke back into Kohona society. Now that Sasuke had brought it to her attention however, she caught a few stares and whispers herself.

"So Sasuke," Sakura began (once again) in an attempt to strike up a conversation with her apparently mute friend, "are you interested in anyone right now?"

Sasuke only responded with another question: "What about you?"

Sakura glared. "That doesn't answer the question Sasuke."

Sasuke just shrugged. "You know you'll tell me anyway."

Sakura blushed and starred at her empty bowl. She sort of wished she had more ramen to stuff in her mouth to avoid answering. Partially because she was embarrassed that Sasuke seemed to know her better than she knew herself, and partially because she didn't know how Sasuke would react to her answer.

"Well," Sakura began, "I actually do have a crush on this guy. You know him, you know him well actually. See--"

"Hey guys!" came a perky voice from behind them.

Sakura turned to look and her face lit up when she saw her best friend behind her.

"Ino! What are you doing here?"

"I was just taking a break from the shop to get some lunch and I saw you two sitting here."

"You're welcome to join us," Sakura offered.

Ino shook her head. "I actually wanted to ask you guys a favor."

Sasuke turned on his seat now. "What do you want Ino?" Sasuke all but snapped.

Ino frowned slightly but was not driven off. "I need to test out this new technique my dad taught me, but I want to test it on two people who aren't too busy and know each other very well You guys just came back from a mission so you won't have another for at least a week and the only person Sasuke is closer to than you, Sakura, is Naruto."

"Um... I guess I'd be willing to do it," Sakura said unsure.

"Great!" Ino said and began making hand signs.

"Wait a second Ino!" Sakura exclaimed. "I didn't--"

"--agree to anything!" came a shout from Sakura's lips. Sakura's eyes widened and then she growled. "Ino," Sakura's voice growled out dangerously, "what the hell did you do?"

Ino smirked. "Well, _Sasuke_, you and Sakura have switched bodies."

Sasuke watched as his own eyes widened and then looked slowly downward. "This is officially the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me," Sasuke's deep voice remarked, "and I've been a human puppet."

"Ino," Sasuke growled from Sakura's body, "change us back. Now."

"All right, all right. Don't have a cow Uchiha." Ino said rolling her eyes. She began a new series of hand motions and then stopped. "Well, there you go."

Sasuke looked down. He still had breasts. "Ino," Sasuke growled again.

"Sasuke?" Ino asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yes. Now if you don't mind, I'd like my testicles back."

"Sorry," Ino said, "let me try one more time." Ino did the motions again and when completed looked up at the two ANBU. "Well?" The glare on Sakura's face and the calmness of Sasuke's was indication enough that neither Sasuke nor Sakura were back in their own bodies. "Um... Oops?"

"Oops!? What do you mean 'oops'!?" Sakura said from Sasuke's body. "Ino, what are we supposed to do?"

"Well, my dad's getting back from a mission tonight. If you come to the shop tomorrow he can change you back. In the mean time... um... think of it as an opportunity to 'walk a mile in each other's shoes' as they say. And you probably shouldn't tell anyone in the mean time."

"Fine," Sasuke said. He turned to look at his own body. "Sakura," he paused. It was very weird. "Sakura," he began again, "you know where my house is right?"

Sakura nodded. "And you know where mine is right? My parent's are gone for the weekend so you don't have to worry about them. Just don't burn anything down."

Sasuke nodded and then, as if on cue, both shinobi stood up.

"Whoa!" they said simultaneously. Both looked down at where they felt a little more weight than usual.

"Um... you're tall," Sakura said as she looked down at herself.

Ino nearly fell over laughing.

* * *

Sakura made her way toward Sasuke's house, and wasn't sure what to expect. Sure, she knew where Sasuke's house was, but she'd never actually _been_ there. There were tons of rumors about the Uchiha compound: that it was haunted, that there were still blood stains on the walls, etc. One old woman had even reported to the Hokage that she heard a strange voice shouting Sasuke's name over and over one night. Sakura knew because she had to help Shikamaru drag the woman from the premises.

Sakura sighed when reached the Uchiha compound. "Home sweet home," she chuckled. Then had to pause of a second. It was really weird to hear Sasuke's voice come out of her mouth, well Sasuke's mouth, but her brain was saying the words. It was all very confusing and Sakura just wanted to go to sleep in her own bed.

Unfortunately she had to sleep in Sasuke's bed (which sounded really creepy when she thought about it).

The door gave a slight creek when Sakura opened it. She looked around and found herself standing in a hall. Stairs probably led upstairs to a bathroom and a bedroom and Sakura assumed there was a living room and a kitchen around somewhere. Might as well explore.

Sakura decided to go right and found herself walking through a kitchen. It was simple and modern and clean. She smirked. Figures Sasuke was a neat freak.

Sakura next found herself in a living room with black leather furniture and a wide flat-screen television. And Naruto.

Asleep.

With no shirt.

Or pants.

"Naruto!?" Sakura shrieked - but it Sasuke's voice it sounded more like a gruff yell.

"Wha--?" Naruto said as he jumped awake. "Oh Sasuke," Naruto said as he clutched his chest. "You startled me."

"What are you doing in Sasu-- I mean my house? And where are your clothes!?"

"Jeez, bastard give me a minute to restart my heart before you start yelling."

"Answer the questions!"

"Look Sasuke," Naruto sighed, sitting straight up on the couch, "I know we had a fight before you left for your mission with Sakura, so I wanted to make it up to you. Plus I missed you."

"That doesn't explain why you're practically naked in my house!"

Naruto's eyes lit up and his face twisted into a feral smirk. The next thing Sakura knew, Naruto was standing in front of her. Naruto lifted his hand and ran it through Sakura's - Sasuke's - hair. "Maybe this will make things a little clearer for you,"

As Naruto leaned into for a the kiss, Sakura felt herself turning to putty. She had dreamed of Naruto kissing her for months now. Naruto's tongue was in her mouth and he was pushing her to the ground.

Sakura audibly moaned when Naruto broke the kiss.

Naruto smirked. "Well you're awfully submissive tonight Sasuke."

Sakura's eyes widened. She had almost forgotten that she was is Sasuke's body. Naruto thought Sakura was Sasuke because, technically, Sakura _was_ Sasuke.

"Umm, N-naruto, I have to tell -- Ooooohh my God"

Naruto's tongue was once again busy and Sakura thought she was going to lose her mind. While it was Sasuke junior that Naruto had clamped his mouth on, Sakura was feeling everything.

Things were getting really weird. And creepy. Bucket and buckets of creepy.

"N-naruto," Sakura managed to get out. Naruto responded by making some sort of humming sound and Sakura heard Sasuke's voice let out a low moan of pleasure.

* * *

"Aw crap," Sasuke said to himself as he pulled himself out of Sakura's bed. He had to admit, Sakura's pajamas were comfortable. He usually just slept in his boxers (sometimes nothing) but he didn't feel that was appropriate in Sakura's body. He wondered if he should get dressed before going to tell Sakura that she had to check in with Naruto so that she wouldn't get arrested, but that bra had been hard enough to get off, he didn't want to have to figure out how to put it back on.

Sasuke immediately regretted not taking time understand the bra when he tried to run across the rooftops. Sakura didn't have as much chakra as Sasuke was used to either.

It felt weird walking into his own house in Sakura's pajamas. Not to mention walking in as Sakura. If Naruto was there--

Oh. Crap.

Sasuke threw the door of his house open (not even thinking about the fact that Sakura had left his door unlocked) and moved immediately to the living room.

"Okay," Sasuke said as he beheld Naruto sucking off his body, "this is way too weird."

Naruto and Sakura jumped back from each other.

"Sakura!" Naruto exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"Naruto I'm going to murder you!" Sasuke lunged at his boyfriend.

"Ah! Sakura!" Naruto shouted as he was tackled to the ground.

"How could you not recognize your own boyfriend!?" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Um Sakura, please don't hit me, but I'm confused."

"Sasuke," Sakura said, "you can't blame him."

"Fine!" Sasuke exclaimed getting off of Naruto and moving to glare at Sakura, "Then can I blame you!? You don't just go around having sex with other people's boyfriends!"

"Sakura," Naruto said. "Sasuke is my boyfriend. I know it's kind of surprising for–"

"I'm your boyfriend you idiot!"

"Sakura... you're a girl," Naruto replied, clearly confused.

"Naruto," Sakura began, "Ino used a technique that caused Sasuke and I to switch bodies. I was going to tell you, but, um..."

"Oh," Naruto said. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," Sasuke said running a hand through his pink hair.

"Seriously?" Naruto repeated. "You guys aren't just messing with me, are you?"

"Nope," Sakura said.

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "All right. If you're really Sasuke," Naruto said pointing at Sakura's body, "then you'll be able to tell me where we first...you know...did it."

Sasuke sighed. "At an bathhouse on the edge of the Water Country while we were on a mission a couple months ago. It was right after you fell out of a tree and--"

"Okay!" Naruto interrupted. "That's enough! I believe you!" Naruto sighed. "Well then," he said, "I'm going to take a cold shower. 'Cause I don't want to cheat on you, Sasuke and, no offense Sakura, I don't like girls." Naruto stalked off rubbing the back of his head.

"So," Sasuke said once Naruto had gone, "you have a crush on Naruto."

"How'd you know?"

"Guess," Sasuke said rolling Sakura's green eyes.

"Oh," Sakura said as she looked at the ground.

Sasuke sighed. "I suppose it's somewhat my fault. Naruto and I should have told you."

"So... how about we never talk about this again?"

"Good plan."

They stood in silence for a few minutes before Sakura spoke: "Hey Sasuke? While I'm in your body could you show me how to use the Sharingan?"

"Only if you show me how to break rocks with my bare hands."

"Deal. This is still incredibly weird though."

"Yes. Yes it is."

* * *

**A/N: Yeah... It's totally random, I know; but this was sitting in my computer collecting virtual dust, so I felt it needed to be posted. Hope you enjoyed it!**


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